November 2, 2005 Update

After the spurs received their 04-05 championship rings: "They [The NBA] could save some time and just give em the rings they're gonna give em next year."

"They [Phoenix Suns] are like the Jackson Five without Michael. That's exactly what losing Amare Stoudamire is."

"If I didn't have my gambling problem I would never work at all."
Thanks Ryan!

"...that light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it's a train."
Thanks Ryan!

Jay Leno - "You ever bet on something and just said: This is crazy?"

Barkley - "Sunday night Jay. I bet on the Houston Texans. I have no idea what I was feelin. I'm like, I call my guy I said, 'Houston's gotta win a game sooner or later don't they?' I'm thinkin ok they on national television. Every jock gets excited when they on national television. There's no way you gonna embarass yourself... I was wrong."
Thanks Ryan!

Ernie: "Here's Shaquile O'Neal, he's put on 15 pounds in the offseason, all muscle he says."

Charles: "That's what all fat people say - 'It's all muscle'"

To Kenny the Jet, who was late to work: "When we say go on at seven, that don't mean black folk time."

"Only half the people are going to like you anyway; the half that don't like you need a life."
Thanks Valeria and Pat!

On hypnotism today on the Oprah Winfrey Show, in regards to his terrible golf swing:

"I went to go get hypnotised so I would get rid of the yips with my golf swing....all i got was a good nap."
Thanks Pat!