November 30, 2005 Update

• On Phil Jackson handing out books to his team: "He needs to give that team a Bible. Only God can help them. They're terrible."
• [From last season] "If Ginobili doesn't make the All-Star team, then I'm not going to Denver."
  Thanks Jacqueline!
• Here's one in response to San Antonio's opening night victory over the Nuggets, which includes Reggie and Charles trying to pronounce Fabricio Oberto's name.

  Charles: "That's bad news for the West."
  Ernie: "It certainly is."
  Charles: "Because San Antonio, number one, with Tim Duncan and Ginobili playing basketball all summer...They won it last year, and they're much better, I think Nick Van Exel is going to be a great addition, and Michael Finley, and I can't pronounce that big kid's name, but he's gonna play well also."
  Reggie: "Francisco Oberto!"
  Charles: "Oh, you bilingual now!"
  Thanks Dion!

• [I like this one even though it's not really a Charles quote. Taken from the Arizona Republic on Nov. 19th] On TNT's postgame show Thursday, analyst Charles Barkley said Kurt Thomas and Brian Grant are good players but are "plodders" who don't fit the Suns' system. "At least he says I can play a little bit," Thomas said. "At least he gave me a little credit."

November 11, 2005 Update

• "Hey first of all, I love Mark Cuban. He ain't never gonna know more about basketball than me. I ain't never gonna have as much money as him, I'll never know more about computers, but he'll live to be 1000, and he'll never know more than us two about basketball. If he knew that, he wouldn't have put that little 'soft cake' team together."

Thanks Danny!

November 7, 2005 Update

After seeing Mark Cuban wearing that ugly blue jacket: "Wow, all that money and he dresses like Craig Sager."

Ernie: Charles do you know what a blog is?

Charles: No, I just know it has something to do with the internet. I don't do the internet. Anybody that sits and plays on the computer just has no life.

Thanks dcallamerican@hotmail.com!

November 2, 2005 Update

After the spurs received their 04-05 championship rings: "They [The NBA] could save some time and just give em the rings they're gonna give em next year."

"They [Phoenix Suns] are like the Jackson Five without Michael. That's exactly what losing Amare Stoudamire is."

"If I didn't have my gambling problem I would never work at all."
Thanks Ryan!

"...that light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it's a train."
Thanks Ryan!

Jay Leno - "You ever bet on something and just said: This is crazy?"

Barkley - "Sunday night Jay. I bet on the Houston Texans. I have no idea what I was feelin. I'm like, I call my guy I said, 'Houston's gotta win a game sooner or later don't they?' I'm thinkin ok they on national television. Every jock gets excited when they on national television. There's no way you gonna embarass yourself... I was wrong."
Thanks Ryan!

Ernie: "Here's Shaquile O'Neal, he's put on 15 pounds in the offseason, all muscle he says."

Charles: "That's what all fat people say - 'It's all muscle'"

To Kenny the Jet, who was late to work: "When we say go on at seven, that don't mean black folk time."

"Only half the people are going to like you anyway; the half that don't like you need a life."
Thanks Valeria and Pat!

On hypnotism today on the Oprah Winfrey Show, in regards to his terrible golf swing:

"I went to go get hypnotised so I would get rid of the yips with my golf swing....all i got was a good nap."
Thanks Pat!