January 31, 2007 Archive

• "I had to explain to my daughter why that skank Monica Lewinski has an hour special on HBO this weekend."
• To Ernie: "You should be more concerned with your forehead getting bigger every year."
• Reading a book cover: "'Broadcasting for dummies'? This is for you, Ernie."
• "They say it about brothers, but I can guarantee everybody in Finland look alike."
• Ernie: Do the Knicks have any chance of turning things around?
  Charles: Heeellll No!
• Ernie: What's the Knick's problem right now?
  Charles: They no good.
• To Kenny: "That's what I just said! I hate when you repeat after me and try to sound intelligent."
• "Scottie Pippin? I thought he retired!"
• "Kenny - you aint got no sterno, have you?"
• On the olympic sport, curling: "I'm still trying to get my grandmother off her old behind and into the Olympics. Why not? She can dust."
• Arriving at a Knicks game and being swarmed by reporters: "You want to talk to me? I guess it's not like you have a team to cover."
• On the Enron scandal investigation: "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool."
• "Any time something bad happens to a black person because of racism, I feel it in my soul. I really do. You take the Abner Louima case. That let me know one thing: If some white guys wanted to stick a plunger up a black guy's butt, and I'm the black guy who happened to be around, I'd have a plunger up my butt."
• "It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house."
• To Kenny: "You know the thing that was amazing about that game? Between the two of y'all ya had 60 points that night, his [Hakeem's] 51 and your 9."
• "He [Kenny] knows basketball and I know a little bit, but I'm just here for good looks."
• On seeing the now AOL sponsored playoff brackets: Charles: "The AOL Brackets now Kenny!"
  Kenny: "I can log on!"
  Charles: "No you can't Kenny. They lost 54 billion today. You can't log on."
• In response to why his team (I think the Rockets, this was a while back) couldn't win a championship: "Bad team, man. Bad fucking team."
  Thanks Ben!