January 18, 2007 Archive

"Anybody can do what they do. You can go to the 7-Eleven and find two guys and they can do their (Albert and Fratello) job."

Barkley on the Golden State and Sacramento game: "I was watching Sacramento this weekend and some people in broadcasting who are idiots...me not included...said that Sacramento is going to play well without Chris Webber. That is wrong. They are going to be terrible if Webber doesn't re-sign there. Don't be fooled by them winning a couple of games against a bad team. I could get five guys in this studio and beat Golden State."

"It's not our fault that they schedule us against West Wing, Temptation Island...we need to go against the XFL."

Barkely on the LA Clippers: "They are not playing bad because they are playing back to back nights. They play bad most of the time."

“I’m speaking for all the fat people in the world. All the fat people in the world hate skinny people…We hate you Kenny.”

Barkley after being introduced by host Ernie Johnson: "Why do you introduce us every night? Don't you think everybody knows who we are?"
Johnson: "Ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Smith, former Houston Rocket, two championship rings."
Barkley: "Oh that was a low blow...yes, I am defensive about it. What were you gonna say, Charles Barkley, no championship ring?"

Barkley on his weight: "Everything in the mirror is smaller than it appears...being fat is not fun because when you are trying to get skinny you don't get to eat all the good stuff. Lettuce doesn't taste good unless you put a bunch of dressing on it."

Barkley on the 10 lbs. weight they used to test the scales accuracy: “That’s nothing. That’s like one little butt cheek.”

New nickname given to the Celevand Cavaliers' Chris Gattling and Jim Jackson: "Stocks and Bonds" - because they have both been traded so often

Barkley on Lakers turmoil surrounding Kobe-Shaq feud: "We said at the beginning of the season that nobody can beat the Lakers. If you play that team seven days in a row, you're not going to beat them four times. But, if Shaq and Kobe can't get along, they can't win. That's the biggest disappointment for me, a guy who would kill (to win a championship). I would kill you two (EJ & Kenny) to win a Championship...I think that's the difference between young guys and older guys. I would have killed to play with superstars...two guys in their prime like Michael and Scottie, Bird and McHale, Magic and Kareem. That's the difference, guys today are more concerned with who's running the team, who's taking all the shots and not winning championships."

Complaining to ref Tommy Nunez about the other refs in the game: Tommy, you got to make that call. You know Moe and Larry won't.

Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: “Both of y’all are going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”

Charles Barkley on the Utah Jazz offense: “The reason they execute so well is that they run the same play every time. They’ve been doing it for 15 or 16 years...it’s going to work every time.”

"The Lakers, the Trail Blazers and the Spurs ... they are the Marines...The Eastern Conference is the Army Reserves."

“I'll weigh in every two weeks...I have to lose 60 pounds...It’ll take me two months...I have a couple of personal trainers...it’s going to be fun. You know, I have a heavy suit on, a sweater, and a big ass.”

Barkley on Spurs guard Terry Porter’s age: “I think he and my grandmother are about the same age.”

Barkley on Al Gore and Leonard Hamilton (Wizards Head Coach): "Two losers who live right up the street from each other."

Barkley during the Wizards/Timberwolves highlight, when Washington ruined a transition play with a behind-the-back pass: "I can't believe a team that bad is trying to be fancy .. They should be like Princeton."

(NBA V.P. of Operations) Rod Thorn said, 'Don't hurt anybody.' He didn't say, 'Don't hit anybody.'

On the new Philadelphia 76ers uniforms in 1992: "They look like my daughter got a hold of some crayons."

On New York: "I love New York City. I've got a gun."

On the goal of the '92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama in the Tournament of the Americas: "To get the Canal back."

"I don’t think I run my mouth. That’s just what redneck sportswriters say when you voice an opinion they disagree with. And I don’t think I’m someone who gets in trouble. If someone throws a drink in my face, I’m gonna defend my damn self."