January 12, 2007 Archive

"Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I'm full."— Barkley yelling to 300-plus-pound Houston Rockets teammate Stanley Roberts

On what it means having Rick Mahorn as a teammate: "All it means is that people will say that I don’t have the biggest butt in the league anymore."

To a fan in the FleetCenter in Boston: "You guys are two players away from being good again -- Bill Russell and Larry Bird."

"You know it's gone to hell when the best rapper out there is a white guy and the best golfer is a black guy."

"Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them."

"I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."

"Ex-teams are like ex-wives. Deep, deep down, you know you can't stand them."

"You can be as successful as you want to be but you have to push yourself, and the only way to do that is through education. You can't blame your Mom, you can't blame your Dad,you can't blame white people, you have to take control of your own life and make yourself successful."

Before the Dream Team's game against Angola in the 1992 Olympics: "All I know about Angola is Angola's in trouble."

"It's really wrong for black people to be racists, because two wrongs don't make a right. White people don't know any better, that's the way they were taught, but black people knowhow it feels."

On supersized Oliver Miller: "You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it."

"I try to hit everybody and in that way I'm very consistent."

"I've always said that my 'playing weight' is whatever I happen to weigh when I'm playing."

``Basketball doesn't owe me anything, I owe everything in my life to basketball, everything,'' Barkley said. ``I'm 37 years old. I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. I have great material things. I've been all over the world and it's all because of basketball.''

"I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball."

I won't kill myself. I'm one of my favorite people.

You know, with most of the stuff I've said, I was just trying to have fun. Everybody laughs, and then they put it in the paper and it doesn't sound funny. That's one thing that makes me mad about the media. The reporters know you're joking, and then they print it. The night I said, "That's the kind of game that makes you want to go home and beat your wife and kids," everybody started laughing. When I read it in the paper the next day, I could see why people were offended by it. I don't think of myself as giving interviews. I just have conversations. That gets me in trouble.

"Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself."

As long as Bird is around I will only be the second-worst defensive player in basketball.

Seriously. Nobody wants to shoot in the last two or three minutes of a game. I do. Somebody has to be the hero. It might as well be me.

I realize that when I'm in my late forties and fifties I won't be able to walk. But I won't have to work until I'm sixty-five, like most people do. To me it's worth it. I see my grandmother's new house or visit my mother in her new house and ride in her new Lexus. When I signed my first contract, I bought my mother an Oldsmobile. For Christmas three or four years later, I bought her a Mercedes. Every time I think about how bad some part of my body hurts, I think about that. You can't describe what that is like.

You know what? There's no greater pain to me than being poor. I've been poor and now I have money. That's pain: being poor and struggling all the time to make ends meet. Seeing something that you want and can't have, to me that's serious pain.

"The only problem I've had with him (Kevin Johnson) is he wanted to go to church and I wanted to go to strip clubs."

"That's a lot of damn money. And a black man is making it. What a great country. Imagine if he could play."— Barkley on Kevin Garnett's $125 million deal

"The meek may inherit the earth, but they won't get the ball from me."

His greeting to new Rocket Elmer Bennett: "Elmer? I ain't never met a brother named Elmer. I can't believe that. A brother named Elmer. I have been alive 33 years, and I ain't never met a brother named Elmer. I've heard of Elmer Fudd, but that's it. They named a fella Elmer."

On the movie Space Jam: "Obviously, my part is terrific. But Michael (Jordan) is the leader. It's his movie. I think it's going to be very funny, great entertainment for the kids. I hope everybody likes it. But, really, I don't care because I've already been paid."

If you have a disagreement with somebody, you don't have to apologize to them. I ain't gonna apologize to that motherf***er I threw through the window in Orlando."

It sucks now. It's the best basketball there is, but it's not good. I'm going to say it, and I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks.

But [the NBA] don't have to change the rules. They've already screwed the game up; if they keep changing rules, they can just merge the WNBA and the NBA. Anybody in their right mind knows the game used to be better.

Al Gore's a loser. But he's only the second biggest loser in Washington. The Wizards are the biggest losers in Washington.

When asked about his grades at Auburn, he said, "As long as I was leading the SEC in rebounding, my grades would be fine."

On Larry Bird being criticized by teammates for shooting too much: "If you’ve got a Mercedes, you drive it."

On being misquoted in his autobiography: "That was my fault. I should have read it before it came out."

On facing Cuba in the ’92 Olympics: "What do I know about Cuba? The country is run by a scruffy-looking guy who smokes cigars -– that’s all I know."

On how Michael Jordan could derive more enjoyment from his celebrity status: "Take security. Or be like me: Just punch a few people, and give them $10,000."

On his greatest enemy: "I thought Bill Laimbeer was the whiniest, most despicable, most disgusting guy in the game. On the other hand, I always respected him as a player."

On his retirement: "Just what America needs--another unemployed black man."

On why he endorses Nike, even though its shoes sell for more than $100: "Hey, they don't stop selling Mercedes Benzes just because some people can't afford them, do they?"

Barkley in response to Charles Oakley saying that 60 percent of NBA players smoke pot: "What percentage of reporters who cover the NBA smoke pot? My poll is just as scientific as his poll. I am going to say 60 percent of writers smoke pot. I just came up with a number. You don't have to have any facts...you can just throw things out there. I like that."