June 16, 2006 Archive

From April, 2001 Postings



• But [the NBA] don't have to change the rules. They've already screwed the game up; if they keep changing rules, they can just merge the WNBA and the NBA. Anybody in their right mind knows the game used to be better.
• Al Gore's a loser. But he's only the second biggest loser in Washington. The Wizards are the biggest losers in Washington.
• When asked about his grades at Auburn, he said, "As long as I was leading the SEC in rebounding, my grades would be fine."
• On Larry Bird being criticized by teammates for shooting too much: "If you’ve got a Mercedes, you drive it."
• On being misquoted in his autobiography: "That was my fault. I should have read it before it came out."
• On facing Cuba in the ’92 Olympics: "What do I know about Cuba? The country is run by a scruffy-looking guy who smokes cigars -– that’s all I know."
• On how Michael Jordan could derive more enjoyment from his celebrity status: "Take security. Or be like me: Just punch a few people, and give them $10,000."
• On his greatest enemy: "I thought Bill Laimbeer was the whiniest, most despicable, most disgusting guy in the game. On the other hand, I always respected him as a player."
• On his retirement: "Just what America needs--another unemployed black man."
• On why he endorses Nike, even though its shoes sell for more than $100: "Hey, they don't stop selling Mercedes Benzes just because some people can't afford them, do they?"

June 16, 2006 Update

To Kenny: "Tiny Archibald didn't even know you were alive before today...(when you called) he said, 'Kenny who?'"

[From the 2005 playoffs] "Steve Nash is willing his team to win. He has that mentality of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Magic Johnson, and says 'we're not going to lose tonight.' It is fun for me to watch because he represents everything that is good about the game."

[From the 2005 playoffs] Kenny Smith on the Fruit of the Loom label taped to Barkley's suit: "So now we know (if you wear) boxers or briefs."
Barkley: "(My underwear) don't even have sizes anymore, they just say 'HUGE.'"

[I've received something close to this twice, but I cannot find the exact words, so I'll let Bill quote Sir Charles]
"When talking to Oprah, I walk in , I'm minding my own business, I ain't said nothing to nobody. Somebody asks me my opinion and I give it to them , then they get pissed at me.
The only reason most people don't like me is because they life sucks.

Thanks Bill!

June 12, 2006 Update

• "I'm rich, man. I can't be hitting people. It's a liability issue. Especially with all these white people in the crowd at golf tournaments. I can see the headlines: 'Charles Barkley kills white dude with a golf ball.' I don't need to be looking for my Al Cowlings."
• Tell David Hasselhoff to come talk to me after the game only if he brings some Baywatch girls with him.
  Thanks Andy!
• Ernie: [Before game 3 of the Mavs-Grizz series] "This is a must win for the Memphis Grizzlies against the Dallas Mavericks"
  Charles: "Yeah, that's like saying the Titanic was a ball smoating accident"
  Kenny: "You just said ball smoating accident"
  Ernie: "Charles, I think you meant to say small boating accident..."
  
  Thanks Andy!

June 6, 2006 Update

Kenny Smith said 'Charles doesn't make great points often with me but I wanna make sure that point was said.' (then repeated what Sir Charles said...) Sir Charles responded 'what do you mean i don't make good points all the time?'
Thanks Jacqueline!

Ernie Johnson: "Okay, you're threatening to hit me again."
Charles: "Threatening is when you won't do it. I'll do it."
Thanks Stan!

Barkley: Reggie was the stunt double in Brokeback Mountain.
Thanks Rodney!

Ernie Johnson, on Reggie Evans being caught grabbing the rocks of Chris Kaman: "(Reggie Evans) got caught with his hand in the cookie jar."
Charles Barkley: "Ernie, I don't know where you get your cookies at but the rest of us don't get ours there."
Thanks Spartdog!

Magic Johnson: "Don't worry about us, just play the game."
Barkley: "Or do like the Pistons — blame the coach. Don't ever blame the announcers."

About Raja Bell and his injury: "I’m not a doctor, but I know you need two legs to play basketball."

After hearing Raja Bell refer to he and Magic and Kenny as "those guys": "Make sure you have someone else crank up your car tonight," he told Bell. "Me and Magic both disappeared during the game. TNT people were looking for us. So have a friend you don't like crank up your car."

After seeing David Hasselhoff in the stands: "It ain't like he's got anything else to do. How long has Baywatch been over with?"

"Fort Worth? Fort Worth ain't big enough to have a newspaper."

On a new TV show called "My Boys", which starred a blonde, Jordana Spiro, as a sportswriter. "Sportswriters don't look like that. They’re more like the troll variety."

On Steve Nash: "I’ve only said this two times in my life, but that's a bad white boy."

After a Brokeback Mountain joke showing Barkley and Kenny's heads superimposed onto the bodies of the film’s gay cowboys: "I was behind Kenny! I was the Mountain part. He was the Brokeback."

On the Grizzlies and their loss to Dallas: "Those Grizzlies are more like pandas."
Thanks Spartdog!

"Do I have a gambling problem? I do have a gambling problem, but it's not really a problem because I can afford to gamble."
Thanks Ronnie!

"We're witnessing something -- we are witnessing an ass-kicking." -- Barkley, on LeBron.
Thanks Nick and Spartdog!

"Maybe, if (Rick Adelman) gets lucky, Flip Saunders will go to the Knicks and he can take over the Pistons and win a Championship. That worked out last year pretty good for somebody." -- Barkley.
Thanks Spartdog!

"He (Popeye Jones) got ears like Reggie Miller and Grant Hill - they can all hear with the best of them."
Thanks Adam!

When asked about his daughter getting to the age where she's going to start dating, Charles said, "I figure if I kill the first one, word will get out."
Thanks Rich!

While with the 76ers: "We've only got one play, somehow..some way...just get the ball to me."
Thanks Rich!

At a press conference before the Dream Team played Angola: "I don't know anything about Angola, but I know they're in trouble."
Thanks Rich!

While with the 76ers he was asked what the game plan was. He said, "to score more points than the other team".
Thanks Rich!

[Not sure about the exact wording, but this one is great...] Talking about the Portland Trailblazers and their inconsistent play: "You never know what team is gonna show up on a given night, but you can bet they will be high."
Thanks Mark!

I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove.
Thanks Jessy and Sandman!

Reggie was giving an analysis on Ron Artest's impact to the Kings and Charles had an interesting response
Reggie: He(Artest) brings energy and toughness...
Barkley: Plus they are playing the Bulls. Bill Wennington must be rolling over his grave
Thanks Rodney!

Sir Charles: How many times do teams to go home and say "honey, we lost by thirty five"?
Thanks Rodney!