Charles Barkley Quotes

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Location: Colorado, United States

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

January 31, 2007 Archive

  • "I had to explain to my daughter why that skank Monica Lewinski has an hour special on HBO this weekend."
  • To Ernie: "You should be more concerned with your forehead getting bigger every year."
  • Reading a book cover: "'Broadcasting for dummies'? This is for you, Ernie."
  • "They say it about brothers, but I can guarantee everybody in Finland look alike."
  • Ernie: Do the Knicks have any chance of turning things around?
    Charles: Heeellll No!
  • Ernie: What's the Knick's problem right now?
    Charles: They no good.
  • To Kenny: "That's what I just said! I hate when you repeat after me and try to sound intelligent."
  • "Scottie Pippin? I thought he retired!"
  • "Kenny - you aint got no sterno, have you?"
  • On the olympic sport, curling: "I'm still trying to get my grandmother off her old behind and into the Olympics. Why not? She can dust."
  • Arriving at a Knicks game and being swarmed by reporters: "You want to talk to me? I guess it's not like you have a team to cover."
  • On the Enron scandal investigation: "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool."
  • "Any time something bad happens to a black person because of racism, I feel it in my soul. I really do. You take the Abner Louima case. That let me know one thing: If some white guys wanted to stick a plunger up a black guy's butt, and I'm the black guy who happened to be around, I'd have a plunger up my butt."
  • "It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house."
  • To Kenny: "You know the thing that was amazing about that game? Between the two of y'all ya had 60 points that night, his [Hakeem's] 51 and your 9."
  • "He [Kenny] knows basketball and I know a little bit, but I'm just here for good looks."
  • On seeing the now AOL sponsored playoff brackets: Charles: "The AOL Brackets now Kenny!"
    Kenny: "I can log on!"
    Charles: "No you can't Kenny. They lost 54 billion today. You can't log on."
  • In response to why his team (I think the Rockets, this was a while back) couldn't win a championship: "Bad team, man. Bad fucking team."
    Thanks Ben!

Friday, January 26, 2007

January 26, 2007 Archive

  • CB asfter seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: "Phone home." And later he remarks to Kenny, "Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he's not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon."
    Thanks Rob!
  • "I play ghetto golf -- I talk the whole time."
  • "If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."
  • EJ: "Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort." Sir Charles: "20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also!"
    Thanks Brian!
  • This was right after Peja won the 3-point contest: "Kenny said it was going to be an all-international night. I want to know which international brother is going to win the slam dunk contest."
    Thanks Rob!
  • "Today is Jimmy Hatter's birthday -- he's the gay guy we got workin' behind the scenes, y'all. We hire them all at TNT. We do not discriminate. We hired the pimp last year, Craig Sager, and now we got Jimmy Hatter. We got all the ethnic groups covered."

Thursday, January 25, 2007

January 25, 2007 Archive

  • Charles Barkley regarding Dan Issels fine when calling a heckling fan a Mexican. "I don't think he (Issel) should have been fined or suspended. Some fans just need to be beaten down!"
    Thanks Rod!
  • "You don't wear Nike, it's going to happen. They gave him all that money to wear those cheap Filas." -- TNT's Charles Barkley, re: Grant Hill's foot injuries.
  • "Everybody should have the right to be honest. Only in sports and celebrity can you not be honest." -- Barkley quoted in a profile on HBO's Real Sports.
  • "How long do you think Steve Nash spent on his hair? 5 seconds? 10 seconds?"
  • EJ: "Did they recognize you in South Dakota?" Charles: "Yes, they did. It was easy because I was the only black person there. When they see me walking down the street they say 'There he goes again'. And when I come back the next year they say 'He's back yawl!'"
  • EJ: "Did you graduate from Auburn?" Charles: "No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."
  • "You gotta tell Craig Sager to stop telling other people what I said. They don't need to know my business."
  • Barkley to Ernie Johnson after comedian Carrot Top is seen holding Johnson's picture: "That is your oldest son right? He looks like you."
  • Barkley on Turner Sports office having a betting pool on his weight: "That is starting to hurt my feelings. I don't mind skinny people making fun of me, we all do that, but I don't want fat people making fun of me."

  • "This is my schedule: I wake up in the morning, decide where to play golf and drink beer all day."
  • "I've been rich and poor. Being rich is better."
  • "Damn Ted Turner! Whose idea was it to start these games at nine o'clock? That's some sad shit! When I own this network, there's gonna be a lot of changes around here. Number one - all your asses are gonna be history!."
  • "From now on, if Michael or Shaq aren't playing, I aint showing up." [to the studio]
  • "we better not be doing the Bulls this year. Man, they suck! Bunch of high school kids with $70 million contracts. Damn! I hate my mother for having me too soon."
  • "I'm just what America needs - another unemployed black man."
  • "I don't need to be on TV. If I had a good agent, I'd be on Temptation Island. I wanna be around a bunch of naked-ass girls. That's just good television programming."
  • "I can't believe we're talking about high school guys being good in the NBA when they average six points a game. I could do that right now, and I ain't touched a basketball in a couple of months."
  • On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: "Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey."
  • "when I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements."
  • "All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."
  • "I always hang out with people with money and make them pay for everything."
  • On Vince Carter : "He played like a girl all last year. TV made him a superstar. Now he has to play like one and quit whining."
  • "I really don't eat that much. I just, more or less, tend to eat all the time."
  • On Peter Vescey calling him fat on TV: "I told him I'm gaining weight and I can lose weight, but he's always going to be ugly. I am not going to jump him on TV because there'll be witnesses. If I beat him up, it's going to be in a dark alley somewhere. The truth is, I'm going to have to get bigger clothes or start hanging out with fat people to look skinnier."
  • "My goals are to play the piano and get really, really, really fat."
  • "Nick, Nick, Nick - You're a good player, but you are a goof for giving up 26 million dollars. There ain't many black people that got a lot of money and if you give up 26 million dollars, you're just a stone idiot.
  • To Billy Crystal, the only 'famous' Clippers fan: "How did you not become a Laker fan like all the other phony celebrities?"
  • Tuesday, January 23, 2007

    January 23, 2007 Archive

    • This one's old but great: "The NBA's in disarray - a white guy won the slam-dunk competition. We need to have another Million Man March." Sir Charles responding to L.A. Clippers rookie Brent Barry winning the slam dunk competition.
    • "Tonight's a good night for bad, crappy players." Barkley talks about the new NBA rules for the 2001-2002 season.
    • "I have so many great memories, I thank God I have this huge brain that can keep all these memories stored."
    • On Allen Iverson's prowess versus other teams: "I'll never let a one-man team beat me."
    • "They run like deer, jump like deer and think like deer." - Charles Barkley on the Portland Trail Blazers.
      Thanks Laurel T!
    • EJ asked Charles why the Bulls were losing so many games this season: "Because they are a bad team...The NBA needs contraction. The Bulls are a disgrace to the league and to themselves."
    • When the Dream Team was about to play the Angola national team, during pre-game interviews the other USA players provided diplomatic, face saving comments about how they would play hard and felt strongly they would win. When Chuck was asked about Angola and the game, he replied: "They're in a lot of trouble."
    • Last weeks Rocket-Sixers game was 35-35 at the half: "Thank God for the new defensive rules, this could have been 25-25!"
      Thanks Keith!
    • Barkley on Hanno Mottola, who, as EJ remarked "is the first NBA player from Finland". Charles replies: "Of course he is the first NBA player from Finland, he's the only person in Finland."
      Thanks Rob!

    Monday, January 22, 2007

    January 22, 2007 Archive

  • "I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."
  • "I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime."
  • "If push came to shove, I could lose all self-respect & become a reporter."
  • On Barkley: "There wil never be another player like me. I'm the ninth wonder of the world."
  • On baldness: "Why do bald guys always wear beards? When I started to go bald, I took it like a man."
  • "When you're the top dog, everybody wants to put you in the pound."
  • "You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world & I might be right."
  • "You can talk without saying a thing. I don't ever want to be that type of person."
  • "The NBA stands for No Babies Allowed."
  • On the All-Star Game: "Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room."
  • "I don't listen to the refs. I don't listen to anyone who makes less money than I do."
  • On Oscar Schmidt: "Isn't he that guy with Felix Unger?"
  • "I don't create controversies. They're there long before I open my mouth. I just bring them to your attention."
  • "Pressure is for tires."
  • On fines: "I went to bed as Charles Barkley & woke up as Pete Rose."
  • Charles Barkley on his thoughts about retiring before the season: "Iremember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going toretire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'Yougot a pen on you?'"
    Thanks Malaguti Franco!

  • Friday, January 19, 2007

    January 19, 2007 Archive

  • I know why his name is DMX. Because his real name is Earl. Imagine if his name was Earl the rapper.
  • Barkley on a scuffle between Juwan Howard and Wally Szczerbiak: Both of them are nice guys, but neither one of them can crush a grape between them.
  • "It ain't against the rules to make a layup.."
  • "You mean to tell me they're holding our plane and soildiers hostage, and we're giving this Chinese guy a three year contract"
  • After Wang has a shot blocked: "He's got to bring something stronger than that. That's like bringing milk to a bar, it's not strong enough"
  • On the Celtics: "They stink. I could get 5 guys out of retirement, and we could beat them."
  • Its half-man, half-amazing. Or as some folks call him: all offense, no defense.
  • Barkley's reason for underclassman and highschool kids to stay in school:
    • If your homeboys are telling you yo go = don't come to the NBA
    • If your family is po' = don't come to the NBA
    • If you wanna meet groupies = don't come to the NBA
    • If you dont like classes = don't come to the NBA
    • If you can't start on a College team = don't come to the NBA
  • On the news that the NBA would allow zone defenses: "This is a great day for bad NBA players"
  • On Mavs/Jazz game 5: They better get that one over quick, because the streets in Utah close at 10.
  • "Crime will be down in NY tomorrow, because everyone will be at the game."
  • "I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."
  • "I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime."
  • "If push came to shove, I could lose all self-respect & become a reporter."
  • On Barkley: "There wil never be another player like me. I'm the ninth wonder of the world."
  • On baldness: "Why do bald guys always wear beards? When I started to go bald, I took it like a man."
  • "When you're the top dog, everybody wants to put you in the pound."
  • "You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world & I might be right."
  • "You can talk without saying a thing. I don't ever want to be that type of person."
  • "The NBA stands for No Babies Allowed."
  • On the All-Star Game: "Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room."
  • "I don't listen to the refs. I don't listen to anyone who makes less money than I do."
  • On Oscar Schmidt: "Isn't he that guy with Felix Unger?"
  • "I don't create controversies. They're there long before I open my mouth. I just bring them to your attention."
  • "Pressure is for tires."
  • On fines: "I went to bed as Charles Barkley & woke up as Pete Rose."
  • Thursday, January 18, 2007

    January 18, 2007 Archive

  • "Anybody can do what they do. You can go to the 7-Eleven and find two guys and they can do their (Albert and Fratello) job."
  • Barkley on the Golden State and Sacramento game: "I was watching Sacramento this weekend and some people in broadcasting who are not included...said that Sacramento is going to play well without Chris Webber. That is wrong. They are going to be terrible if Webber doesn't re-sign there. Don't be fooled by them winning a couple of games against a bad team. I could get five guys in this studio and beat Golden State."
  • "It's not our fault that they schedule us against West Wing, Temptation Island...we need to go against the XFL."
  • Barkely on the LA Clippers: "They are not playing bad because they are playing back to back nights. They play bad most of the time."
  • “I’m speaking for all the fat people in the world. All the fat people in the world hate skinny people…We hate you Kenny.”
  • Barkley after being introduced by host Ernie Johnson: "Why do you introduce us every night? Don't you think everybody knows who we are?"
    Johnson: "Ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Smith, former Houston Rocket, two championship rings."
    Barkley: "Oh that was a low blow...yes, I am defensive about it. What were you gonna say, Charles Barkley, no championship ring?"
  • Barkley on his weight: "Everything in the mirror is smaller than it appears...being fat is not fun because when you are trying to get skinny you don't get to eat all the good stuff. Lettuce doesn't taste good unless you put a bunch of dressing on it."
  • Barkley on the 10 lbs. weight they used to test the scales accuracy: “That’s nothing. That’s like one little butt cheek.”
  • New nickname given to the Celevand Cavaliers' Chris Gattling and Jim Jackson: "Stocks and Bonds" - because they have both been traded so often
  • Barkley on Lakers turmoil surrounding Kobe-Shaq feud: "We said at the beginning of the season that nobody can beat the Lakers. If you play that team seven days in a row, you're not going to beat them four times. But, if Shaq and Kobe can't get along, they can't win. That's the biggest disappointment for me, a guy who would kill (to win a championship). I would kill you two (EJ & Kenny) to win a Championship...I think that's the difference between young guys and older guys. I would have killed to play with superstars...two guys in their prime like Michael and Scottie, Bird and McHale, Magic and Kareem. That's the difference, guys today are more concerned with who's running the team, who's taking all the shots and not winning championships."
  • Complaining to ref Tommy Nunez about the other refs in the game: Tommy, you got to make that call. You know Moe and Larry won't.
  • Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: “Both of y’all are going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”
  • Charles Barkley on the Utah Jazz offense: “The reason they execute so well is that they run the same play every time. They’ve been doing it for 15 or 16’s going to work every time.”
  • "The Lakers, the Trail Blazers and the Spurs ... they are the Marines...The Eastern Conference is the Army Reserves."
  • “I'll weigh in every two weeks...I have to lose 60 pounds...It’ll take me two months...I have a couple of personal’s going to be fun. You know, I have a heavy suit on, a sweater, and a big ass.”
  • Barkley on Spurs guard Terry Porter’s age: “I think he and my grandmother are about the same age.”
  • Barkley on Al Gore and Leonard Hamilton (Wizards Head Coach): "Two losers who live right up the street from each other."
  • Barkley during the Wizards/Timberwolves highlight, when Washington ruined a transition play with a behind-the-back pass: "I can't believe a team that bad is trying to be fancy .. They should be like Princeton."
  • (NBA V.P. of Operations) Rod Thorn said, 'Don't hurt anybody.' He didn't say, 'Don't hit anybody.'
  • On the new Philadelphia 76ers uniforms in 1992: "They look like my daughter got a hold of some crayons."
  • On New York: "I love New York City. I've got a gun."
  • On the goal of the '92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama in the Tournament of the Americas: "To get the Canal back."
  • "I don’t think I run my mouth. That’s just what redneck sportswriters say when you voice an opinion they disagree with. And I don’t think I’m someone who gets in trouble. If someone throws a drink in my face, I’m gonna defend my damn self."
  • Friday, January 12, 2007

    January 12, 2007 Archive

  • "Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I'm full."— Barkley yelling to 300-plus-pound Houston Rockets teammate Stanley Roberts
  • On what it means having Rick Mahorn as a teammate: "All it means is that people will say that I don’t have the biggest butt in the league anymore."
  • To a fan in the FleetCenter in Boston: "You guys are two players away from being good again -- Bill Russell and Larry Bird."
  • "You know it's gone to hell when the best rapper out there is a white guy and the best golfer is a black guy."
  • "Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them."
  • "I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."
  • "Ex-teams are like ex-wives. Deep, deep down, you know you can't stand them."
  • "You can be as successful as you want to be but you have to push yourself, and the only way to do that is through education. You can't blame your Mom, you can't blame your Dad,you can't blame white people, you have to take control of your own life and make yourself successful."
  • Before the Dream Team's game against Angola in the 1992 Olympics: "All I know about Angola is Angola's in trouble."
  • "It's really wrong for black people to be racists, because two wrongs don't make a right. White people don't know any better, that's the way they were taught, but black people knowhow it feels."
  • On supersized Oliver Miller: "You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it."
  • "I try to hit everybody and in that way I'm very consistent."
  • "I've always said that my 'playing weight' is whatever I happen to weigh when I'm playing."
  • ``Basketball doesn't owe me anything, I owe everything in my life to basketball, everything,'' Barkley said. ``I'm 37 years old. I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. I have great material things. I've been all over the world and it's all because of basketball.''
  • "I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball."
  • I won't kill myself. I'm one of my favorite people.
  • You know, with most of the stuff I've said, I was just trying to have fun. Everybody laughs, and then they put it in the paper and it doesn't sound funny. That's one thing that makes me mad about the media. The reporters know you're joking, and then they print it. The night I said, "That's the kind of game that makes you want to go home and beat your wife and kids," everybody started laughing. When I read it in the paper the next day, I could see why people were offended by it. I don't think of myself as giving interviews. I just have conversations. That gets me in trouble.
  • "Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself."
  • As long as Bird is around I will only be the second-worst defensive player in basketball.
  • Seriously. Nobody wants to shoot in the last two or three minutes of a game. I do. Somebody has to be the hero. It might as well be me.
  • I realize that when I'm in my late forties and fifties I won't be able to walk. But I won't have to work until I'm sixty-five, like most people do. To me it's worth it. I see my grandmother's new house or visit my mother in her new house and ride in her new Lexus. When I signed my first contract, I bought my mother an Oldsmobile. For Christmas three or four years later, I bought her a Mercedes. Every time I think about how bad some part of my body hurts, I think about that. You can't describe what that is like.
  • You know what? There's no greater pain to me than being poor. I've been poor and now I have money. That's pain: being poor and struggling all the time to make ends meet. Seeing something that you want and can't have, to me that's serious pain.
  • "The only problem I've had with him (Kevin Johnson) is he wanted to go to church and I wanted to go to strip clubs."
  • "That's a lot of damn money. And a black man is making it. What a great country. Imagine if he could play."— Barkley on Kevin Garnett's $125 million deal
  • "The meek may inherit the earth, but they won't get the ball from me."
  • His greeting to new Rocket Elmer Bennett: "Elmer? I ain't never met a brother named Elmer. I can't believe that. A brother named Elmer. I have been alive 33 years, and I ain't never met a brother named Elmer. I've heard of Elmer Fudd, but that's it. They named a fella Elmer."
  • On the movie Space Jam: "Obviously, my part is terrific. But Michael (Jordan) is the leader. It's his movie. I think it's going to be very funny, great entertainment for the kids. I hope everybody likes it. But, really, I don't care because I've already been paid."
  • If you have a disagreement with somebody, you don't have to apologize to them. I ain't gonna apologize to that motherf***er I threw through the window in Orlando."
  • It sucks now. It's the best basketball there is, but it's not good. I'm going to say it, and I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks.
  • But [the NBA] don't have to change the rules. They've already screwed the game up; if they keep changing rules, they can just merge the WNBA and the NBA. Anybody in their right mind knows the game used to be better.
  • Al Gore's a loser. But he's only the second biggest loser in Washington. The Wizards are the biggest losers in Washington.
  • When asked about his grades at Auburn, he said, "As long as I was leading the SEC in rebounding, my grades would be fine."
  • On Larry Bird being criticized by teammates for shooting too much: "If you’ve got a Mercedes, you drive it."
  • On being misquoted in his autobiography: "That was my fault. I should have read it before it came out."
  • On facing Cuba in the ’92 Olympics: "What do I know about Cuba? The country is run by a scruffy-looking guy who smokes cigars -– that’s all I know."
  • On how Michael Jordan could derive more enjoyment from his celebrity status: "Take security. Or be like me: Just punch a few people, and give them $10,000."
  • On his greatest enemy: "I thought Bill Laimbeer was the whiniest, most despicable, most disgusting guy in the game. On the other hand, I always respected him as a player."
  • On his retirement: "Just what America needs--another unemployed black man."
  • On why he endorses Nike, even though its shoes sell for more than $100: "Hey, they don't stop selling Mercedes Benzes just because some people can't afford them, do they?"
  • Barkley in response to Charles Oakley saying that 60 percent of NBA players smoke pot: "What percentage of reporters who cover the NBA smoke pot? My poll is just as scientific as his poll. I am going to say 60 percent of writers smoke pot. I just came up with a number. You don't have to have any can just throw things out there. I like that."
  • Wednesday, January 10, 2007

    January 10, 2007 Archive

    Ok, since the Barkley Quotes web page is going away soon, I'm moving all old quotes to this site. Lots of older quotes coming your way over the next few days. Starting... now!

  • "On throwing an elbow at an Angolan: "Well, he might have pulled a spear on me."
  • On why he didn’t attend a presidential inauguration: "They’re not my type. I like to be around low-class people, like reporters."
  • On New Years’ resolutions: "I think I’ve got to make a stronger commitment to my girlfriends and my family. Well, don’t write down my girlfriends."
  • On why he befriended Christian Laettner: "We’re a lot alike, actually. We both attended great academic institutions. And when we walk into a room, women scream."
  • On team dissention: "Harmony isn’t important. The only things that matter are winning and getting paid."
  • The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.
  • On Generation X: "I wish I was young again. I’d make a fortune and the coach couldn’t yell at me."
  • "My body was not meant to play the way I do. I'm shorter than most of the guys who play up front in the NBA, the guys who play elbow wars every night , so I've always knownthat someday it would take it's toll."
  • It's hard to box out guys if they are good rebounders. If you're going to stand there and hold them, you're not going toward the ball. Somebody will beat you to it.
  • On where he wanted his fine money donated: "I was going to donate the money to the homeless, but they would have better houses than me by the end of the season."
  • Nobody gives me anything. Everything I get I earn. I don't want that much from other people. There ain't nothing easy and there ain't nothing free. That's the only rule I know.
  • No, that's just going to make my right hand sore from hitting people. I don't mind. I just have to get better at provoking them. I've got to make them hit me first, so they can't sue me. They don't pay me enough money to let people call me any name in the book.
  • On his relationship with fans: "I like kids when they’re kids. I don’t like it when they grow up and come to the games and call you names."
  • "Just because I can dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids."
  • That's true. People don't want to hear the truth. Fat people are discriminated against. That's just human nature. Stereotypes abound. Like all black people are hoodlums, all Jewish people are crooks. That's totally not true. What's even worse, it's considered all right that people think that way. Marge Schott can say "money-grubbing Jews" or "million-dollar niggers," because that's the society we live in. People say it's freedom of speech. That's not freedom of speech. Any woman who has that much power isn't going to hire blacks or Jews. That ain't the worst part about it. The worst thing is that she may go and kiss up to them. When the Reds won the World Series, she was drinking champagne with the brothers and calling them million-dollar niggers behind their backs. I have more respect for the Klan, because when they call you nigger they don't sit there and drink with you.
  • David Stern calls me now and says, "I apologize for all the things I said to you in the past. Dennis is a lot worse than you are." (On Rodman)
  • "We (athletes) are held to such a higher standard, and we should be. But come on, don't go crazy. Don't make us out to be Public Enemy No. 1 because we do one thing wrong.Athletes do 99 percent good things and 1 percent bad things, and people never let you forget about that 1 percent."
  • On Chris Mullin, who had fainted: "If it's your brain, you'll be fine. That's the smallest organ in your body."
  • "Unless you're a doctor, ain't nothing important they can't wait to call you about later. How many 19- or 20-year-old kids got something really important happening? We've had beepersgo off in the middle of meetings right before the game."
  • "There are people who hide everything inside--and it's guys like that who kill whole families."
  • "Any moron can score."
  • "Me and Rick (Mahorn) aren't the only players who hit guys with elbows, or who knock guys down hard. But the NBA is really image-conscious. They make who they want to be good,they make who they want to be bad. But I'm not going to be Joe Bob, the All-American role model telling people what they want to hear. You can talk without saying a thing, and I don'tever want to be considered that type of person."
  • Two years ago: "The NBA makes everybody a star because they just want to make money. You got guys who can't even play that got jerseys, shoes and everything."
  • On a 1990 brawl against Pistons hit man Bill Laimbeer: "I don't know why he wants to challenge my heavyweight title. He's not even among the top 10 contenders."
  • "Dennis (Rodman) likes wearing a dress, I don't like wearing a dress. I tried it on a couple of times in the house, but I do it privately; I don't do it publicly."
  • "I like spicy things, to get discussions started, whether we're talking role models or racism, rookies or Rodman. I was chosen for some reason to live this , and if all I do is make a lot of money and never speak out for anybody or myself, that would be a waste. I've said and done some things wrong, but I can honestly say I've done more right than wrong. Am I going toheaven? It's going to be a real close vote."
  • On retirement: "In four years, I'll be the first black governor of Alabama. In eight years, I'll be the first black president."
  • "Professional athletes should not be role models. Hell, I know drug dealers who can dunk. Can drug dealers be role models too?"
  • "If I weren't earning more than $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming."
  • "I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five."
  • "We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good."
  • "Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while."
  • January 10, 2007 Update

    • About Steve Kerr missing the game played in Sacramento (hurt with back spasms): "Guys never get hurt when they have to go to L.A. or New York. They only get hurt when they have to go to Sacramento. I never missed a game because of back spasms."
    • To 7-foot Andrew Bynum, who was being guarded by 6-7 Kenny Thomas: "Don't hesitate. You've got a midget guarding you."
    • On the prospects of public financing for a new Kings arena: "One of the travesties of sports is when you get poor people to build a rich people's arena."
    • Barkley said he was enjoying being a courtside analyst. "I don't have Ernie and Kenny ignoring me," he said, referring to fellow studio hosts Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith.
    Taken from the L.A. Times

    Wednesday, January 03, 2007

    January 4, 2007 Update

  • On possibly running for governor in Alabama, Barkley said, ''I can't screw up the country any more than it is.''
    (via the Bob Costas show)

    • 'You know that I've been to Vegas a hundred times and I've never seen a show,'' he said.

    Costas: ''Is that right? No Shecky Greene? No Lola Falana?''

    Barkley: ''They never have a show at the blackjack table.''

    (via the Bob Costas show)

    • On Mo Cheeks: "He doesn't have a fair chance," Barkley said. "He cannot be judged by this situation. They put him at the helm of the Titanic. There was no way this situation was going to work. No way. They don't have any identity. What kind of team are they? They're not a defensive team. They're not a fastbreak team. What are they trying to do? If Allen stays, they're still not a playoff team. He's just going to get older."

    January 4, 2007 News

    First update in a while. We moved to Colorado, got a new puppy, and have been shoveling snow for weeks. I'm going to add some new quotes now but within the next month or so I'm going to post several updates with all the existing quotes archived on the Charles Barkley Quotes page. The reason? That site is going away and I'm going to exclusively use this blog for updates to the Barkley Quotes going forward.

    Thanks for continuing to send in great lines you hear Sir Charles utter. Now that we're settled into our new home, I'll be keeping this page updated more frequently.